Sunday, June 19, 2011

Hayes Clement, Part Time Mayor?

Hayes Clement claims in the paper that he would give up his full time job if elected Mayor but there are still lingering questions on whether or not Hayes Clement has the time or right focus to devout full time hours to the office of Mayor.

Mayor Jim Sottile stated in the Freeman article very clearly this is a full time demanding job, Mayor Sottile likes to tell everyone that he is on call 24/7 and there is no question that he is. Being Mayor is very demanding and is most defiantly full time.

With this in mind, it is disturbing that Hayes Clement is telling elected officials in the city that he plans to spend three days a week in New York City if elected to trump up economic development. (pretty much his current work schedule now) How Hayes being outside of Kingston will foster a climate to promote economic development is a question that will have to be answered by the voters in September.

What there is no question about is the fact that Hayes is not qualified to be Mayor and his neophyte status in the community, coupled with the fact he has never voted for the office he is seeking, raise some serious concerns with his candidacy. Is he ready to lead a community he has little ties to and has only been a resident of for 28 months?


Anonymous said...

That's ok when Hayes is in NYC smoking on cigars and havin appletinis with his soho friends, Tom Hoffay and Anne Marie DiBlella will be running the front office.

Can you imagine a call between the two of them on January 6, 2011

Hayes: hello

Ann Marie: Hayes, No one has seen you since your state of the city. Tom is in youur office playing mayor, no one is watching the clerk's office becasue of it. Kirby is sniffin around about your first 50 day plan what do I say?

Hayes: Loveeey, relax, Im sippin on some fine red wine and playing some tennis with Mayor Bloomberg's cheif of staff. Tell Hoffay to write up the 50 day plan and you sign it and send it out. I'll be back on Thursday.

Ann Marie: ok, Hayes.

Hayes: Anne Marie, did Steve start work yet today?

Anne Marie: Yes, Hayes, Mr. Aaron was in bright and early in the economic development office, preparing a new senior plan in Kingston.

Hayes: cool beans. Hav you given thought ton some positions to be filled?

Anne Marie:

Well Frank Cardinale wants to be head of the Kingston Housing Authority. Steve Aaron has someone in mind for assesor, we need to get back to him.

Hayes: Anne Maire, I have to go, my appletinis are here. Forward my calls to Buso and I will see on Friday.

Ann Marie: Ok, Mayor.

Hayes: wait Anne Marie are you still there?

Ann Marie: yes

Hayes: I was in Gracy mansion today and someone thought I was Chelsey Grammmer hahahahahaha

Ann Marie: hahaha wow, that's funny. I'll tell Hoffay.

Hayes: Yeah, I like it here. I'm thinking about buying a fork lift and moving Kingston into the city to bring in economice development and so I can be close to home of course. see ya Thursday Anne Marie, the ice cubes are melting.

Anonymous said...

the future Hayes part 2:

Feb 15,2012

Hayes, Hoffay, Anne Marie, and Steve Aaron in the main office 4pm. Council meeting about to start.

Aaron is in back of room with his hands at his fingertips plotting to himself.

Hayes discusses issues with Tom and Ann Marie:

Hayes: I should just pack this up go work for my rich father and move back the George, these people are killing me.

Hoffay: Oh, Hayes, it's fine I have it under control

Hayes: Don't give me that out of control shit and stop sending pictures from my twitter account.

Anne Marie: Can you give another one of my relatives a job?

Hayes: (IGNORING Dibella, grits his teeth, Tommmmy, can you get Majority Leader Senor down here, I got to talk some sense in to that hick. When are these Kingston hicks gunna learn I am better and smarter than they are?

Hoffay: I know Mayor, I will call Bobby. By the way can I use your credit card, I have some expenses.

Hayes: urggh how much this time, Tommy?

Ann Marie: Can you two settle up later, we gotta get my relative a job.

Hayes: You two are both too much, I am going back to the city and doing some pilates and listening to music for smart people, like Mozart.

Hoffay: Oh Hayes, you are soo wonderful.

Hayes: Tom just take my visa, you have an $800 limit. Ann Marie, I am sorry but I just can't give another one of your relatives a job, I will be recalled. Just relax and do your job, madam Comptroller.

Steve Aaron: All of you leave I need to talk to the mayor.

to be continued.

Anonymous said...

Groucho Marx could've thought of something funnier--but for Gallo(The Marx Brothers made their living imitating Italians!)

Anonymous said...

Whew! You have Cruella DiBella as comptroller - I was worried that she was going to be cast as Hayes' secretary. She's too ugly for that. Don't forget to put in the part about Cruella being late for work because she hit a house on the way in.

Anonymous said...

There is no way that guy can spend three days a week in NYC and be Mayor. I have not heard it from him but if it is true that is going to hurt him significantly...what does he think he is going to do, wince and dine them into coming up here. Sorry Hayes, it doesn't work that way. I have no problem with him going down there to take meetings, but he cannot believe he is going to do this job two days a week in Kingston. The biggest part of the Mayor's job is showing up.

Anonymous said...

Hayes part 3:

Hayes: Steve I have told you putting 4 units of senior housing in the bell tower, just won't work. I don't want to have to deal with this and Senor is here. We will talk this weekend in the Hamptons.

Majority Leader Senor enters:

Senor: Hey Hayes

Hayes: put down one of those plastic seat covers and have a seat. That seat is made of genuine giraffe skin.

Senor: Really, I always wanted a pet giraffe

Hayes: Now listen Bob, I think we are having a failure of communication here. Let's get one thing straight, I am new fresh and change and just damn awesome. I could of been Mayor of any city and I picked this dump town to try and save. Why did the council not pass my bill to make Tennis the official city sport?

Senor: well Haye

Clement: SHUT UP, I urinate 24 karat gold, I am what matters in this city. Got it?

phone ringing

Clement: Sit tight, Bob. Actually can you change the light bulb in my restroom, I have to take this call.

Senor exits

Hayes: Buso, you there.

Buso: yeah just returning your call boss.

Hayes: What are we doing about taking down that awful memorial of T.R. in the main hallway?

Buso: The public will be pretty upset

Hayes: They will be greatful, did you tell them in it's place a bust is being put up of me holding my first tennis racket at the US Open with one of thos Williams sisters? It's 7 feet of pure silver gold.

Buso: whatever you say boss, where should I put the memorial?

Hayes: put it over the trash down at dpw, one of the two employees in that department will take care of it. How dare his brother think he could beat me. My daddy is rich and I am special. Did I tell you, I was mistaken for Chelsey Grammer last week?

Buso: Really?

Hayes: I have more money and less personality than Chelsey but I think it impressed Mayor Bloomberg and our cricket group.

Enters Government Affairs Czar Frank Dart

Frank: (in a voice that would shatter glass) Hayyyes, we need to get you upstairs. The budget committee has some questions.

Hayes: They have questions, what do I know about budgets. The only numbers I know are Anna Kornacova's tennis stats and how much money I have in my account after Hoffay is through with it. (Which is still a lot, I'm rich Frankie)

Frank: Well what should I say?

Hayes: Tell them I am going tanning and heading to see Mayor Bloomberg to get some development in this city. I gotta get out of here, you people are making me depressed. I need a mimosa.

1:13 PM

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile the bat phone rings, its a concerned citizen:

My Clement, how do you propose to bring all the businesses you are going to solicit in NYC to Kingston, when the first thing they see when they enter this city is a flood of filthy people pushing carts past your benz?
Where are they going to hire thier staff from, the Mike Hein emporium on Ulster Ave next to the diner?

What makes you think any business wants to relocate into this city?

Clement, with a stunned looked, says "how did you get this number?, The last mayor didnt worry about this crap, why should I?"

Anonymous said...

The Hayes Show part 5

Hayes and Hoffay at Rotary park

April 5th, 2012

Hayes: ah, Tommy, you went over your limit, I got a 3,000 Visa bill, what did you spend it on?

Hoffay: I needed a new suit

Hayes: 3,000 for a suit? That's half what I pay and my suits are made out of organic silk worms from figi.

Hoffay: and I needed a watch..

Hayes: 3k for a suit and a watch.

Hoffay: Let's talk about the budget

Hayes: I wanna relax, this hobby of being Mayor is growing tired. Why didn't the British finish the job, who would want anything to do with Kingston.

Hoffay: Now, Mayor, you don't mean that.

Hayes: Get me a match and some lighter fluid, (Hayes smiles, as he sips his appletini and puffs on a funny ciggarette).

Hoffay: It could be worse

Hayes: Yes, I could be playing polo right now and selling curb your enthusiasm to the Saudi Prince for HBO.

Hoffay: Well at least you have a good city clerk, I have done great things to that office.

Hayes: urgh (Hayes shrugs in disgust) I am going to feed the ducks, can you wash the mud off my alligator shoes.

Hoffay: Of course Mayor.

Hayes: I am just so much better than all of you guys Tom, I am of a higher class.

Hoffay: Anne Marie was telling me you got mistaken for Chelsea Grammer last week?

Hayes: hehe yes, I was playing criket with Bloomberg, Christie Quinn and Dean Skelos at Gracie Mansion, when one of the help, DiBlasio something thought I looked like Fraiser. Oh gosh, what a chuckle we had.

(Hayes ties his sweater around his neck and gets a shoe shine, while pouring a fresh appletini and admiring the ducks)

Hayes: Tom, remind me to call Buso, I want to tear down the Carnagie Library and build a duck pond, and have it surrounded by a moat.

Hoffay: You can't tear down that building, it's historic

Hayes: (Gritting his teeth) But I want a duck pond, I wanted one since when I was a kid and the maid would draw me a bath with my rubber ducks.

Hoffay:We don't even own the property.

Hayes: Call the school system, get the assemblyman on the phone and lets get ready to tear down a library. These Kingstonians can't read. Tom, if you want to continue to use my Visa and Amex card you will get me that duck pond.

Hoffay: What about your mastercard?

to be continued.

Anonymous said...

Jeremy, I like the character assessment of Clement, Hoffay, Buso and Dibella. By the way, you know Hoffay DOES have a habbit of spending on other people's credit card. Word has it that he went a little overboard on T.R.'s credit card once upon a time- he tends to go overboard on a lotta things. In fact, he has had more jobs on the govt tit then anyone else in Ulster county and he is the LAST person that deserves any of the employment he has had. He gets fired from every job he works at and should not be given another one but should be forced to go out and get a job that he is qualified up bullshit!

Jeremy Blaber said...

633: I have not read it.

Anonymous said...

Hayes show Part 5

April 20, 2012

Hayes calls a meeting about operation Duck Pond. Hoffay, Dart, Aaron and Edwin Ford in attendence.


I have called this meeting becasue I want to move forward on putting in this duck pond at the carnagie library.

I made up a memorializing resolution for the council to adopt. (Im good at those memorializing resolutions)

Here it goes:

Whereas : Hayes Clement wants a duck pond to fufill his childhood dream of being able to walk outside his office and feed the ducks

Whereas: Hayes Clement recognizes that Kingstonians can't read.

Be it resolved the Kingston Common council supports the approval of the state to sell the Carnagie Library to Kingston, so it can be demolished and turned into a duck pond for Mayor Clement.

Be it further resolved: Hayes Clement is great, wonderful and here to save our city becasue we are too dumb.

Edwin Ford (passes out and is rushed to the hospital)

Dart: (in a voice that would shatter glass) Hey I got by all these years without reading a book.

Hoffay: Hayes, this will not sit well with a lot of people.

Aaron: I agree, I think we can make 50 units of senior housing out of that library and have a little duck pond.

Hayes: (stomping his feet) No I want a duck pond.

Hoffay: ok, boss.

Hayes: That's better, it's time for my mani-pedi

enters Kevin Quilty

Hayes: Kevin can you do my pedicure first, my feet are killing me.

Kevin: I didn't know this was part of the job of community development.

Hayes: umm, (gritting his teeth) how am I supposed to bring in jobs to this area if I have blemishes on my toes?? Don't even get me started on my finger nails.

Kevin goes to work on Hayes big left toe.

Kevin: Is that a bunion, Hayes?

Hayes: A what?? No, it is not! (Hayes pulls out a nice bottle of Johnny Walker blue and turns on Mozart)

Hayes: Buso, can you do my nails, I have a 3pm doctors appointment in the city

Buso: Yes, Mayor. It's 2 pm you know.

Hayes: Yes, I have my private helicopter landing at Kingston hospital to take me outta here.

Hoffay: Where to tonight?

Hayes: A small dinner at Nobu with Bloomy and some rich people, nothing you would understand. You are all dismissed, I need to meditate and I'm feeling crazy maybe I will throw on some Johann Sabastian Bach.

Hoffay: You are so smart and such a rebel, Mayor.

Hayes: Im taking all my credit cards with me Tommy, so relax. Will be back in a week.

Anonymous said...

NEW Hayes Clement Part 6:

Hayes: I am very proud to announce that Karen Clark Aden will serve as Kingston's asssesor.

Kirby: Wait, so ahhh, you know, you got a ah a ah ah individual that sells taky clothes as the city assesor?

Karen: Don't forget all the over priced Chachkies

Hugh Reynolds: sorry Karen, Can you put a hat on, ur hair is blinding me

Hayes: Yeah really, if your gunna be in my administration you need to follow the dress code: Blonde hair and blue eyes.

Karen: Sorry Hayes

Hayes: So we have held this press conf today to inform Kingston that we are moving forward in making Kingston city goverment full of snubs, elitists and unqualified individuals, we are confident that this appointment demonstrats just that.

Karen: My first act as assesor will be to look at Birchwood Village, for too long we have felt that property has been over assesed.

Kirby: yeah, um, ah, ah, soo does Aaron own that property

(Karen takes off her hat and blinds everyone with her bright orange hair, in an effort to change the subject)

Hayes: Free Appletinis for everyone, clapping for Buso

(Buso enters dressed as a little cababa boy, starts pouring appletinis)

Reynolds: I'll take three

Hayes: Thanks everyone for comming, tomorrow stay tuned we will release our ethics panel and name our new fire chief.

Attention: Read future comments about the Hayes screenplay on the road to city hall blog post.

Kind Regards,

guy from the future

5:25 AM